When I told my friends what I had done on New Year's Eve, some of them thought it was creepy and others said they really should do something similar. I've had a big cleanup and made a list with all the information for when I'm dead. After that I started looking for what else I could arrange so that my relatives are not saddled with a huge mess and can just be sad about the fact that they will have to miss my physical presence. In this article my personal story about everything that I have done to arrange my affairs.
Tekst & foto's: Maria Kupers
Published in Especial Life in 2017
Either way you look at it, we're all going to die. I don't plan to do so for a long time, but I do live alone and it will be my family who will eventually have to deal with things. They live in the Netherlands and don't speak Spanish fluently, let alone know how things work here. So not really practical. In the meantime I have been to several funerals of Spaniards and I found that experience shocking, completely not in line with what I would like. I hope to die peacefully surrounded by loved ones, but of course you never know what life will bring. For my work I am used to being organized, putting some order in my private life is a nice gesture to my beloved.
Your own paper work
In my desk drawer you can find a folder with a list of practical information, my neighbor and a friend know where to find it and have promised to take it out when needed. That document contains details of people who should be contacted, which insurance policies I have, the numbers of my bank accounts and direct debits, but also all accounts I have on social media, Amazon, email addresses and things like that. It took some time to sort it out, but it was also a good reason to have a thorough clean-up. Mountains of papers have disappeared in the stove, I entered the new year wonderfully unballasted.
Voluntad anticipada
Until now (2018), euthanasia is still prohibited in Spain, but you can record which medical procedures you still want to allow or not if it is clear that there is a terminal and irreversible situation. There is a national register in which these wishes are recorded. In Andalusia, the Junta de Andalucía is responsible for this register and on the website of the Servicio Andaluz de Salud you can download all the necessary documents and fill them in at home. The forms are in Spanish, but the manual to fill them in is available in English.
Filling in the first form is the easiest, there you only have to fill in your details and indicate that you are in your right mind. The second form requires a little more time. You have to indicate what your wishes are and then you have to imagine situations that do not really make you very happy. The manual is very clearly written and examples are also given, so after cold-blooded thinking and consultation with the doctor, I make an appointment to record my wishes in the register.
There are several offices in the province of Málaga to register your voluntad anticipada (living will). I have made an appointment at the office of the Junta de Andalucía in Málaga and the official there takes the time to calmly go through all the documents I have brought (including passport and NIE) with me. He enters my wishes and preferences into the computer so that a doctor can access them if necessary, in Andalusia but also in the rest of Spain. I present him a number of situations to make sure I make the right choices. As long as I can still talk, doctors and nurses will always ask what I want but if I am unconscious or in a coma they will look at the document to see what I have indicated. If there is not yet a terminal situation, but I am in bad shape by my standards and would not really want to continue living like this, I must find a solution myself. Medical staff will never lend a helping hand to end my life.
Who gets my car?
I live in a rented house and have very little equity. But who will get my computer, my car and my extensive collection of cheap sunglasses? While I am at it, it's useful to find that out too. If I do nothing, the Spanish inheritance law will automatically apply because I live in Spain.
But it is also possible to draw up a will in accordance with Dutch or Belgian law. Wim Lamers from Welex and Ilse Jodts from Ilse Jodts Advocaten know more about this, so I sat down with them. In my case, no one will bother if my family takes my personal belongings out of my house but there is still the issue of the car in my name and the bank accounts. They must be officially inherited. I can make a will for that, but according to both Wim and Ilse that is superfluous. If I suddenly become very rich or get a partner with children, I can always do that. Because then things are different. In Spanish inheritance law, cohabitation without a contract is not recognized, you cannot disinherit children and the principle of usufruct is different. In the Netherlands and Belgium you can specify very specifically who gets what.
An estate must be settled in Spain within six months, there is a possibility to request a postponement and then you have eleven months to find out everything and whether or not to accept the inheritance. And when that is all settled, the tax authorities come into play. Soon the law on inheritance tax in Andalusia will change and no tax will have to be paid up to 1 million euros. If the heirs live in the Netherlands or Belgium, the tax authorities will knock on their door to collect their share. I'm glad that I don't actually have to arrange anything with regard to my inheritance, but from the stories of Wim and Ilse I conclude that it is very practical for many people to do so and can prevent many problems.
Burial or cremation?
I like to think that my true self is not my body, but it is a fact that when I die something has to happen to that body. I have seen parents of friends shoved into a wall that is immediately bricked up on the spot and everyone went home immediately afterwards. This made my heart break, I don't want my next of kin to experience that. However, the Spanish custom of cremating or burying the deceased within 24 hours is not a law of the Medes and Persians. I make an appointment with Anita Burgers and Miranda Keuters of Europe Funerals to find out what is possible. They work together with Servisa, one of the largest undertakers in Spain.
There are many funeral companies in Spain, if someone dies you can just call them and they will arrange everything and send the invoice afterwards (although you have to sign in advance that you are going to pay it). However, they do it the Spanish way. That is not better or worse, but simply different from what we are used to in the north of Europe. For Spaniards, death is something they want dealt with as quickly as possible and with as little fuss as possible. The body of the deceased is immediately removed and you get a kind of menu to choose the coffin, flower wreaths and such basic things. And 24 hours later, the deceased is usually already buried or cremated. That used to be logical because of the high temperatures, but with cooling equipment nowadays that is not necessary anymore so there is no law on the 24hrs. If someone dies in the hospital, the hospital calls the funeral home with which they have a contract and they then deal with it further.
In the event that I died now, my Spanish neighbor would call a funeral director in the village and then things would go the Spanish way. That is not what I want so I'm going to think seriously about what I do want. I can record my wishes with a notary and then the undertaker is obliged to comply with those wishes. However, that costs about as much as a will, between 800 and 900 euros. Bit pricey. I can also prepare a document myself and add it to my other list of things to do after my death. Then of course those documents shouldn't be lost, but I'm fairly organized so that shouldn't be the problem. Another option is to create a codicil with my wishes via Europe Funerals, if I die a phone call to them is enough to let them handle everything. In my view, my relatives should decide on how my last farewell should be, they are the ones who have to be able to find comfort from it. But I do put on my list that I want an ecological urn or coffin and that a version of Ave Maria (for the non-Catholics among you: greetings to Mary) should be played, I think that is appropriate.
Life is beautiful
It has been a year since I started seriously figuring out and arranging my personal affairs. A year full of discoveries and beautiful encounters. I have had sweet and moving conversations with strangers and close friends about death and, more importantly, life. An enriching experience that I wish for everyone!
